


Unhinged

by ariadnerue



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 23:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2669774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariadnerue/pseuds/ariadnerue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You want to leave again," Skye said lowly. It wasn't a question.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unhinged

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on ff.net after episode 6 of season 2. I think.

"Simmons?"

Simmons jumped in surprise at the sound of Skye's voice. She hastily wiped at her face, trying to disguise the fact that she'd been crying, but she knew it was no use. She heard Skye's footsteps on the cargo ramp.

"Over here," Simmons croaked, her voice husky with tears.

"I've been looking all over for you," Skye began as she peered around the garage of the Bus, searching for the source of Simmons' voice. "I wanted to-"

Skye came to an abrupt stop when she rounded the counter, finding Simmons sitting with her back to the cabinets and her knees drawn up to her chest, tears running down her face.

"Oh Simmons," Skye sighed, and Simmons just looked away miserably.

Skye plopped right down on the floor next to Simmons without another word, reaching an arm around her shoulders and pulling her to her side. Simmons just buried her face in Skye's shoulder and sobbed without a moment's hesitation.

They sat like that for a while, the biochemist working out all of her tears in the shoulder of Skye's jacket while the hacktivist-turned-field agent just rubbed her arm and shushed her.

"I'm s-sorry," Simmons stammered at length, pulling away a bit and wiping her nose on her sleeve. But Skye was having none of that. She yanked Simmons right back to her side.

"Don't you dare apologize, Simmons," Skye said firmly. "You cry as much as you need to." Simmons sniffed a bit and Skye squeezed her shoulder. "I've been watching you walk around like everything's fine for days now, but everything is not fine."

Simmons pulled away again so she could look Skye in the eye. This time, Skye let her.

"What do you mean?" Simmons asked warily, pulling her knees back up to her chest.

Skye sighed and reached over, drying the tears from Simmons' cheeks with her sleeve. The action made Simmons laugh just a bit, and Skye smiled at her rather sadly.

"You were undercover with Hydra, Simmons," Skye began. "Hydra. And considering what a terrible liar you are-" Simmons laughed again. "-you must have been scared for your life every second of every day. I can't imagine how lonely you must have been."

Simmons fidgeted a bit, avoiding Skye's eyes and tugging at the hems of her sleeves.

"I was scared," she admitted quietly. "And it was… hard, at first. Being on my own." She didn't mention the fact that she had missed Fitz so much she felt sick all the time. She didn't mention that she couldn't sleep for days at a time, worrying about him. "But I did it, didn't I? I proved to myself that I can be alone. I don't fancy it, but… I can do it."

"Why was that something you needed to prove?" Skye asked, and Simmons could already hear the suspicion in her tone. Skye knew her too well. She was too smart, too perceptive. Simmons looked down, fixing her gaze on her feet.

"Do you remember when we were at the Hub?" Simmons said hurriedly rather than answering the question. "And Fitz was away on that mission?" Her heart twisted painfully just saying his name. She didn't even mention Ward. Skye nodded slowly. "You said that without him I became a bit… unhinged."

"Well… yeah, you did," Skye admitted frankly.

"So I've… changed," Simmons replied, trying to force some enthusiasm into her voice. "I've gotten stronger. I still came a bit unhinged, I'll admit. But I survived. And I can…"

Simmons had to bite her tongue to stop herself from continuing. Skye glared at her.

"You want to leave again," Skye said lowly. It wasn't a question.

Simmons could only hold her gaze for a few seconds before she looked away, tears in her eyes again.

"Simmons, you can't," Skye said immediately, sitting up straight and staring her down. Simmons wouldn't look at her. "You just got back. Why would you-"

"I make him worse," Simmons blurted. Skye blinked in surprise. Simmons was staring dead ahead, gripping her legs so hard her knuckles turned white. She was shaking visibly, whether from sadness or anger Skye couldn't tell. "I don't understand why, but I make him worse."

"Simmons…" Skye whispered, but Simmons just glared at her.

"Do you really think I would have left him like that if there was anything else I could have done?" Simmons demanded. "Did anyone really believe that I left because I wanted to?"

Simmons stopped and took a shaky breath. Skye was surprised. She had never seen Simmons so angry, but now the poor girl seemed to be deflating before her.

"Besides Fitz, of course," Simmons laughed miserably. She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand and sniffed. "He thinks I left because he told me how he felt about me." Skye's eyes widened in surprise. Simmons took another long, slow breath. "I didn't leave because I don't love him. I left because I do."

Skye stared at Simmons in silence, struggling to digest everything she'd just learned in a few short sentences.

"God, Simmons," Skye said at length. "Why can't you talk to Fitz about this?"

Simmons swallowed hard, stretching her legs out in front of her. She rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"He doesn't realize it," Simmons finally said, her voice strained. "He doesn't see that I make him worse. It's been killing me every moment of every day since he woke up, but he..." She bit her tongue again when she felt herself getting hysterical. "The person he's been talking to all this time, when he was talking to himself. You know who it is."

Skye had figured it out a while ago. And it had very nearly broken her to pieces.

"You," Skye muttered. "Or at least… a version of you."

"She helps him," Simmons continued, fixing her eyes on her feet again. "And then I came back, and I do the opposite. I never find the right word, but I can't help trying. And I just… frustrate him. He thinks I don't understand, he thinks I think he's… useless." She made a face at the word, like it was the worst thing she could imagine herself saying. "But I'm a scientist, for goodness sake. Of course I understand that he's different now. I'm not trying to push him, I'm not trying to change him, I just want him… to be okay."

Suddenly, Skye slid a hand into hers and gripped it tight. Simmons looked over in surprise, but Skye just frowned at her.

"You still blame yourself, don't you?" Skye asked quietly. Simmons closed her eyes. "All of us have told you a hundred times, this isn't your fault."

"But he thinks it is," Simmons cut in. "He'll never admit it. But he was ready to die for me, and I wouldn't let him. I couldn't." Simmons gripped Skye's hand so hard it hurt, but Skye didn't let it show. "He's better off without me."

"Stop," Skye said sharply. Simmons just glanced at her miserably. "He broke when you left the first time. What do you think it'll do to him if you leave again?"

"But he'll survive," Simmons replied just as sharply. "Both of us will survive. I can be alone, and he has… he has Mack, and he has…"

"The fake you that he's been hallucinating," Skye finished for her. "That's not healthy, Simmons."

"Well neither is this," Simmons burst out, jumping to her feet. She gestured around at the dark garage. "Why do you think I'm hiding here, Skye?" Skye slowly stood up, but she didn't say a word. "This was our lab. This was our place. We were safe here. We were happy here. And now it's gone."

Simmons leaned back against the counter, exhausted. Skye leaned beside her without a word.

"The first time I left, it was because I believed he would get better without me," Simmons said quietly. "And even if it didn't seem like it at first, he has gotten better. That… fake Simmons, she helps him. And he knows she's not real, so he'll eventually realize that it's all there in his head. All the words and all the answers are already there. He just can't reach them as fast as he used to."

"Simmons…" Skye said gently. But she didn't seem to have any words beyond that. "What about the rest of us? We're a family."

"We are," Simmons smiled sadly. "But Fitz is more than that. He always has been."

"Well why didn't you just bloody say so?"

Simmons and Skye both jumped in surprise. Fitz and Mack were standing at the top of the cargo ramp, Mack looking just as surprised as the girls and Fitz looking somewhere between confused and angry.

"How… how long have you been standing there?" Simmons asked, her tone going from embarrassed to accusatory in the length of the sentence.

"Long enough to know you want to leave again," Fitz snapped back, stepping further into the garage before he stopped and clenched his fists at his sides.

"Well if you'd really been listening, you'd realize that I didn't want to leave," Simmons argued, stomping up to him and crossing her arms over her chest. "I never wanted to leave you, Fitz."

"But you did," Fitz shouted. "And I'll be damned if I let you do it again."

"Fitz," Simmons began wearily, but she didn't get a chance to say anything else.

Fitz grabbed her by the back of her head and pulled her face to his, silencing her with a searing kiss. She had to loop her arms around his neck to keep from stumbling, serving the dual purpose of drawing him closer so she could ardently kiss him back.

Skye had to bite her lip to hold in a squeal of laughter as she edged around the two of them. They seemed to have forgotten her presence and Mack's entirely, which was fine by her. She grabbed Mack's arm as she passed him and dragged him along with her, as he had just been standing there with his mouth hanging open in shock.

FitzSimmons, meanwhile, were trying to continue their argument while still kissing.

"This doesn't… change anything…" Simmons muttered crossly whenever his lips left hers.

"I disagree," Fitz grumbled, moving his attention to her neck and making her gasp.

"I make you worse," Simmons replied, trying to sound angry and failing miserably as her voice was shaking. "I just… stop, I just…"

"Not gonna stop," Fitz shot back, the words tickling her skin.

"Fitz," Simmons finally succeeded in shoving him away, but only by a few inches as he kept his hands firmly on her hips. "I can't do this. I just want you to-"

"Be okay, I know," Fitz cut her off, and both of them were stopped for a moment by the realization that he'd just finished her sentence. They smiled at each other rather shyly, which was something considering they'd just been making out. "And I will be. If you stay."

Simmons stared at him. His face was scruffy and his clothes were wrinkled. He looked completely unsure of himself, and there was still a darkness in his eyes she wasn't used to. He stared right back. Her hair was short and her eyes were tired. There was tension in her muscles and she always looked concerned.

"We'll fix this," Simmons said softly. Fitz broke into a nervous grin, and she laughed lightly as she ran a hand up into his hair. "Together."


End file.
